To forgive or not to forgive

August 25th, 2009 by Joshua

There has been a discussion among my fellow hypnotists at HypnoThoughts.com about Forgiveness Therapy. Some interesting thoughts have come up in the process. Reading the discussion thread led me to this newsletter topic idea. This can be done without hypnosis, yes, but the addition of hypnosis or self-hypnosis makes it even more powerful.

As a Christian, I have a strong belief in the importance of forgiveness. Not everyone sees things the same way; people who have been hurt deeply by others in the past often do not want to forgive them because they feel that’s letting them off the hook. That it means you’re saying they’re an okay person and you shouldn’t remember what they did or take that into consideration.

That couldn’t be farther from the truth.

Forgiveness isn’t about the other person so much as it’s about you. When you forgive someone, you’re not saying they did nothing wrong. By forgiving them, you’re saying that they no longer “owe” you anything.

When someone owes a lot of money to a creditor, the creditor can go after them with all guns blazing, taking them to court, harassing them with phone calls, sending threatening letters, or … they can forgive the debt. Factually, the debt did exist. They were owed money and interest. But because repayment couldn’t happen–maybe the debtor didn’t have the money because of losing his job–they chose to not waste time and resources trying to achieve something that was never–never–going to happen. Instead, they legally wiped the slate clean and said the debt was no more.

There are still consequences for the debtor, of course. But they no longer have a negative tie with that creditor. The creditor no longer demands anything from them. At the same time, they can’t necessarily go back to the creditor and request a new loan and expect it to be granted. That would just be silly.

When you withhold forgiveness, you’re acting like a creditor constantly hounding the poor guy who owes you money. Spending valuable time and energy on recovering the money, when the guy doesn’t have the money to give you. You can say the one who hurt you owes you an apology or needs to make it up to you or … but most of the time, that’s an unrealistic expectation. They either won’t apologize or can’t.

Move on with your life and let them go.

That’s what forgiveness is for. They’re still the same people that hurt other people. They’re still the kind of people that run up bad debt. But now you’re not wasting time and energy on a fruitless task. Now you can redirect all that energy into something more positive.

A Simple Process

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Our first contest!

June 25th, 2009 by Joshua

That’s right. I’m holding a contest for this site. Should you wish to participate, simply direct traffic to my site in general, or to my product pages in particular (a list of them will follow the explanation here), attaching “?code” to the end of the link you use. With “code” being your name or other word you’d like to use–to avoid duplicates, email me with what you’re using so I can check and make sure it’s unique. The person who, between now and when I get back from my honeymoon, gets the most unique visitors to my site wins.

And what do you win? A free downloadable audio product or a free customized audio product or a free phone session with me. Your choice.

Here’s a sample of how the link should work for you to refer someone with: http://firegoldhypnosis.com/?Bob or http://firegoldhypnosis.com/Dream/?Bob.

Now for the list of products:

Thanks for helping me promote my site and good luck!


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Hypnotic poetry

May 8th, 2009 by Joshua

I recently started a group on HypnoThoughts dedicated to discussing hypnosis and poetry, and wouldn’t you know it but the topic has been coming up more often in other discussion threads there now. Kinda. ;)

As an example, there’s a thread discussing and debating the desirability of making people fanatics about the changes they’ve made through hypnosis, with a lot of people cautioning against it because of the negative connotations of the word. And that’s a valid point. However, hypnosis is partly about reframing. Changing “My husband snores and it bothers me” to “My husband snores and I feel good because I know he’s there, alive and with me,” for example. 

That reminded me of a poem I wrote a few years ago for a poetry challenge at Wild Poetry Forum. The challenge was to write a poem in praise of something society viewed as evil or undesirable. We had a specific model to follow (a poem someone else had written doing exactly that). Here’s the poem I wrote (after the break):

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Debunking The Mentalist

April 2nd, 2009 by Joshua

As I’m sure you’re aware by now, CBS’s show The Mentalist had an interesting episode last night. So interesting that even the pastor at my church commented on it to me, asking if I’d seen it. 

What made it so interesting?

It was billed as a hypnotist using hypnosis to murder.

Yep, that old theme that Hollywood likes to use: hypnosis used for nefarious purposes. Great drama. No argument there. But is it accurate? Are hypnotists really able to do things like that? Could a hypnotist use someone in the way that was depicted on The Mentalist?

The answer isn’t quite as cut and dried as you might think.  The short answer is ‘no.’ The longer answer is more of a ‘no, but.’

Patrick Jane, the star character played by Simon Baker, does give the game away fairly early on. He says “You can’t hypnotize someone against their moral code.” So if a hypnotist were to try to hypnotize someone to commit murder, it wouldn’t work … unless they were already willing or predisposed to murder. And that’s demonstrated when one of the police officers is hypnotized. 

Oh, I think now is a good time to remind you to be careful when reading this; if you haven’t watched the episode yet and you want to, there may be some slight spoilers in here. I’m doing my best to not reveal anything vital, but I am only human. ;)

So if that’s true, is the plot of this episode plausible? If you won’t do something against your morals while under hypnosis, is the premise of a hypnotist convincing someone to commit murder a viable premise?

No. 

Unless they’d already be willing to commit murder.

And even then, there’d be a *lot* of work involved. It couldn’t be something that was from a quick, first time trance, except in very unusual conditions. And then it’d be brainwashing with hypnotic methods tossed into the mix. And brainwashing is a completely different story.

So that’s that, right? The Mentalist episode debunked. Not quite. 

You see, there’s more to the story. There’s also a guy, at the very beginning of the episode, bringing what he thinks is a sack of potatoes to the police. It’s really a body, and Jane realizes he’s hypnotized. He was hypnotized as part of an attempt at covering up the crime and confusing the police as to who did it. 

You might think that’s not possible as well, but it is plausible. Yes, really.

Take a look at this clip of Anthony Jacquin on YouTube convincing a shopkeeper to give him a garbage bag full of cucumbers.

Not quite the same thing as convincing someone a body’s really a sack of potatoes, but the concept is there. Again, to actually pull it off with a body would take a lot of work, in my opinion. (On that note, there was a slight bit of prep in Anthony’s clip: if I remember right, he did do a quick intro and induction before the clip began, then gave the guy amnesia so things would go faster.)

One last bit. Jane, throughout the episode, claims to be unable to dehypnotize the people who have been hypnotized. That’s a bit of falsehood right there. There is something called a “hypnotic seal,” and it works to prevent people from being hypnotized by anyone else other than that hypnotist. It’s unethical.

And ineffective. 

Any competently-trained hypnotist is able to break such a seal and hypnotize the person anyway. It’s not terribly hard, and you don’t “need to know the trigger” in order to do it. 

All in all, this episode stayed mostly accurate when talking about hypnosis, but did have a couple slight failings in that regard. Also, despite being mostly factually accurate, it managed to still give the impression of hypnosis being used for nefarious purposes. 

Joshua

PS. Don’t read this PS if you don’t want a spoiler. 

Remember what I said above about making someone commit murder under hypnosis? At the end, the evil hypnotist tries their best to have Jane murdered by a hypnotized colleague. Telling the guy he’s by a pool, the ocean, and to push Jane in as a joke, etc. They’re really on top of a building and Jane would fall to his death. He gets Jane pushed up against the edge of the roof and stops there. 

Granted, he’s being pushed two ways by Jane trying to work suggestions to stop and the evil hypnotist shouting for him to do it. BUT. He doesn’t do it. He freezes at the edge of the roof and doesn’t complete the act of throwing Jane off. 

Despite being hypnotized and having his sense of reality so distorted that he thought he was somewhere completely different, he still stopped short of killing someone.


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Powerful weight loss tool

February 24th, 2009 by Joshua

My friend Maggie (www.gravityresistance.com) has started as a health coach with a program vetted by doctors around the country and I wanted to share a link to her PDF brochure explaining it. This is just a short post for now; I may come back and add more content to it later, so feel free to check back.

Healthy You Brochure


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How to defeat the “rule of 10,000″

February 6th, 2009 by Joshua

If you subscribe to my newsletter, you’ve already seen part of this article: simply scroll down and pick up where you left off. 

I know you haven’t heard from me in a bit, and I apologize for that. I’ve had a lot going on. I’m getting married later this year, taking on some new responsibilities in a big project with Wendi Friesen (more on that later), etc. However, I do have something for you right now.

The rule of 10,000.

In a recent blog post I read, the author talked about how to combine your brain and willpower to break the pattern of average results. 

He discusses forming new habits, studying people who do what you want to do, etc. All of which is very important, but he forgot one thing.

This is a rule that’s well-known in several circles: music, sports, etc. And it’s a rule discussed in Malcom Gladwell’s newest book, Outliers. It’s a rule that can make or break your efforts at success.

The rule, simply, is this: it takes 10,000 hours of practice to become an expert.

It’s not completely ironclad; there are some geniuses who can shave a few hours off that, but for the most part it takes 10,000 hours of intentional practice to become an expert. Regardless of initial talent.

Now, talent does play a part, don’t get me wrong; someone innately gifted with musical talent will be better at the end of that 10,000 hours than someone innately ungifted musically. But even that ungifted person will be better, perhaps even achieving a pro level.

The problem with knowing this rule is, well, it’s daunting. 10,000 hours works out to roughly three and a half years, going eight hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year.

Given that most of us work eight hours a day, then have families to spend time with and take care of, five years or more is much more likely (interesting side note here: how long does it take to earn a Master’s degree? Coincidence?). No wonder most of us never progress beyond adequacy.

There is a solution, however. and given the nature of this website and blog, I’m sure you can guess what I’m going to say next. Yep. Hypnosis.

It has been proven in several studies that mental rehearsal helps you to improve at sports. And imagining exercise has similar (though not as pronounced) results as actual exercise. While I can’t guarantee using hypnosis and mental rehearsal will take 10,000 hours and turn it into only 500, it will help you learn whatever it is you’re learning more quickly and easily.

Here’s a simple process for doing just that:

  1. Get into a comfortable position, in a comfortable spot. While you can do hypnosis anywhere and anytime, it’s best to take the time to be comfortable. No point in giving yourself a cramp just to experience hypnosis. ;)
  2. Close your eyes–not yet! Wait till you’ve read through the instructions!–and take a few deep breaths, breathing in through the nose and exhaling slowly through the mouth. This relaxes you further and helps ready you for the relaxed mental focus you need. Let any distracting thoughts fade out as you continue to breathe and relax.
  3. Imagine, visualize or just know that you’re at the top of a staircase, with a door at the bottom. Every step you take down the stairs takes you twice as deep into the trance. When you reach the bottom (tenth step), you’ll be at the basement of relaxation and at the perfect level for really effective mental rehearsal.
  4. Go through the door and find yourself doing what it is you’re learning to do. If you’re learning a martial art, you’re in the dojo, or perhaps you might be in your back yard using a practice dummy. If you’re learning a musical instrument, perhaps you’re in the band room practicing. Or maybe you’re performing at a concert. Whatever your activity is, whatever form of practicing you’re doing, notice how you get everything right. All the notes come out perfectly, all the moves are perfectly timed, and you feel great and confident doing it. Focus on performing it effortlessly and perfectly. Everything just flows out smoothly.
  5. Take the time to play with this a bit. Slow things down and go through the activity in slow motion, noticing every detail and muscle movement, every nuance of the thought processes needed to get this just right, and flowing so perfectly. Then go through it at double speed, triple speed or even 100 times faster. 
  6. Thank your unconscious mind for helping and ask it to keep running the practicing in the back of your mind, when you’re sleeping, when you’re daydreaming, etc. 
  7. Count from one to five and reorient yourself to the here and now, stretching if needed, and returning to a normal state of awareness.

And that’s it. Do that on a regular basis, and it will help you get better faster and with less effort. You may have noticed that I kept emphasizing “perfect” and “just right.” That’s not to apply pressure; that’s because the beauty of mental rehearsal is you can do it perfectly. No need to program in the mistakes you’ve made while practicing “for real.” Practice doesn’t make perfect, after all; practice makes permanent. 

Because practicing wrong makes permanent the wrong move, perfect practice makes perfect. Always imagine doing it right the first time, effortlessly and easily.


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How to Win Your Office’s Biggest Loser Challenge

January 9th, 2009 by Joshua

I drive my girlfriend to work every Friday morning so that we can avoid traffic later in the day when going to our band practice. This morning, I heard something on the radio that gave me the idea for this post. They were discussing ways to win the “Biggest Loser” challenge at the office.

They discussed such things as how to bulk up so you weighed your max at the weigh-in, yet still be able to quickly lose those extra pounds. One guy proudly shared how he drank regular Pepsi instead of diet, ate generally fattening foods and laid around doing nothing before weighing in. One lady, one of the radio personalities on the show, shared her devious strategy: eating extra-salty foods the couple days before, then eating the physically heaviest stuff she could find on the morning of the weigh-in, combined with drinking a ton of water.

Apparently that strategy gained her an extra 8 or 9 pounds, which were quickly shed, being mostly water weight.

This time of year is–pardon the pun–big for challenges and contests like this. Who can lose the most weight? Who can quit smoking for the longest time? Who can stop procrastinating longest? Who can stick to their exercise plan for more than 3 weeks?

Who can keep their resolution the best and longest?

As a hypnotist, I have the real answer to all those questions. The way to truly keep your resolutions, the way to most easily win the office “Biggest Loser” challenge, is not to cheat, but to use hypnosis. Whether you use a real, live hypnotist or a good quality audio CD or mp3, hypnosis is the key.

Tom Nicoli, a hypnotist on the East Coast, once did a challenge on Dateline, if I remember right. They had one person assigned to him, one person doing a diet and another doing exercise. The challenge ran for a few months and at the end, they discovered that Tom Nicoli and his hypnotic approach made for the easiest and most effortless weight loss experience. The guy he was working with didn’t have to work hard, didn’t have to sacrifice and suffer and battle temptation. He just … lost weight.

He also kept it off the best.

I don’t have a weight loss CD or mp3 yet, but I will soon. In the meanwhile, you can call or email to schedule an appointment and free consultation for a live session. Also, you can check out some excellent audio products from Wendi Friesen and Cal Banyan.

Wouldn’t you rather truly win at keeping your resolutions than do some cheating to win a short term contest at work or school? If so, do consider hypnosis and take action now. It’s easy, it’s fun and works.

I’ve got to run now, but look for my next post where I’ll share some easy self-hypnotic techniques you can use to help with your resolutions in general.

EDIT: Tom Nicoli responded to my post in the comments below and pointed out that I’d neglected to link to him and his products after I mentioned the power of his program. He does a great job (as evidenced by the Dateline Challenge he took part in, with six people each trying a different diet or program; not the three I remembered), and has been rated as the best of the best by Shape magazine. Feel free to take a look at Tom Nicoli’s weight loss CDs and peruse his site.


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