It feels a bit weird saying 2008, doesn’t it? We get this way every time a new year comes along; even though there’s no real external difference, we get an upsurge of hope. We start making resolutions, determining that *this time* we’ll get it right. We’ll even get off to a great start, often: drastically changing our eating habits, tossing out all our boxes of cigarettes, making To Do Lists left and right, and shouting to the world, “This time, I will succeed!!”

Then reality kicks in. Maybe not immediately, but pretty soon, we start flagging. We eat a candy bar and just luxuriate in the forbidden glory of pure sugar mixed with chocolate (and maybe even some peanut butter). We accept a friend’s offer of a cigarette, telling ourselves it’s “just this once.” We look at that To Do List and quail at the sheer magnitude of the task we’ve given ourselves … and we go and do something else.

Why?

In part, it’s because of how we’re wording our resolutions. We usually say, “I will not sabotage myself this year.” Or, “I will not smoke ever again.” Those are great goals. Excellent goals. They’re just not worded very well. Negative wording tends to have the opposite effect than was intended. Look at little kids, for example; what happens if you tell them, “You can’t have a cookie”?

The same thing happens with our unconscious mind. It’s like a little kid, in many ways, and if you tell it “Don’t,” “Can’t” or “Won’t,” it starts thinking about the forbidden thing. It dwells on it and chews it over, repeatedly. Meanwhile, your conscious mind is thinking everything’s great, that you’ve got things under control. It has no idea of the explosion building up.

Positive wording is much better for resolutions, affirmations and other similar things. While the negative is often needed as part of a motivation strategy, we can’t rely only on that. If all you’re doing is running away, where will you end up? It reminds me of a song by Keith Green, actually:

Well you can run to the end of the highway and not find what you’re looking for,
Moving won’t make your troubles disappear.
And you can search to the end of the highway and come back no better than before.
To find yourself you’ve got to start right here.

Well I came running when I got the news that you were leaving.
Oh, I’ve gotta talk some sense to you, cause I’m your friend.
You say you want to hit the road cause life is so deceiving.
Do you think it’s different at the other end?

So you can run to the end of the highway and not find what you’re looking for.
Moving won’t make your troubles disappear.
And you can search to the end of the highway and come back no better than before.
To find yourself you’ve got to start right here.

Oh I came running when I got the news that you were crying.
Oh my friend has life been so unkind to you?
You say you want to find a place where people are not lying.
If you find a place like that I’ll go there too.

Oh, you can run to the end of the highway and not find what you’re looking for.
Moving won’t make your troubles disappear.
And you can search to the end of the highway and come back no better than before.
To find yourself you’ve got to start right here.
Yes, to find yourself, you’ve got to start right here.

You have to know where you’re going and not just run blindly. Running blindly makes you no different than the silly kids in the horror movies who trap themselves in rooms with no exits, just waiting for the monster or serial killer to come get them.

Another reason resolutions fail is, well, willpower. That’s right. You heard me. Willpower.

Willpower only works for a short while; as soon as your stamina runs out, you’re back to the problem behavior. Again, it’s like the unconscious mind is a little kid, focusing on what it can’t have, what it’s not supposed to do. You’re constantly imagining that wonderful sensation of taking a nice, long drag on that cigarette, the textures and flavor of that candy bar, the relaxed and pleasant feeling of just vegging out and watching a movie.

Hypnotists know that imagination trumps willpower.

So why not use that fact? State your resolutions in the positive and use your imagination to visualize (if you can’t visualize, don’t worry; just imagine it in whatever way you usually imagine things) the *desired* goal. Imagine yourself wearing that little black dress. Imagine yourself going for walks with your grandkids and feeling healthy and strong. Imagine having that task *done* and the good feeling of accomplishment and pride.

Just those two little changes can work wonders in your success this year.

See you next time!

Joshua

This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 1st, 2008 at 4:02 pm and is filed under Hypnosis, Informational, NLP. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.